If you are not content with where you are in life, it may be because you are feeling stuck within your own comfort zone, not knowing how to break free.
It's often easier to continue doing things the way we have always done, not trying new things, not doing things that make us feel a bit uncomfortable, staying within the parameters that make us feel safe.
As part of my Autism I've begun to realise that not feeling safe is a huge trigger for my anxiety, everything for me stems from the need to feel safe and secure. Trying new things or fear of failure, removes that safety net & stops us willing to try. But it's important to try things within our own parameters and putting in place things that make us feel safe, such as bringing someone supportive along with us.
...We learn, we become more resilient and more tolerant to uncertainty. We become more confident in our abilities and this gives us the motivation to keep on growing and trying new experiences.
What I love about the events I facilitate is seeing the change in people. From the moment when someone starts an activity they have never tried or one they have little or no experience in, they are often unsure of themselves and are full of worry about what is in store.
But as they start to learn under expert tuition and notice they are the same as everyone else in the room, just having a try, not getting lost in the outcome, how good they look or how their finished product will turn out... This is where you see the magic happen.
They start becoming experimental, their walls go down, the nerves disappear and everyone places their undivided focus on the activity at hand. All external feelings, self doubt, worries and fears diminish, and suddenly people are sharing ideas, helping one another, being creative, laughing and chatting with one another... even those that have never met before.
I hold my hands up, for most of my adult life I have not dealt with change well. I have always been risk averse. I would never step out of my comfort zone unless I was literally pushed. I was fearful of trying new things and facing my fears, and had limiting beliefs that I've developed over the years.
It wasn’t util I had my twins that I started to think about the person I was and the person I was portraying to them as they grew. I very quickly realised I didn’t want them to grow being fearful and not wanting to take on new challenges.
Maybe that’s linked to the fact that when I found out one of my sons was diagnosed with a cleft lip and palate, I knew I wanted him to realise that he was special not different. I wanted him to feel confident in his own skin, with his forever smile and that being ‘perfect’ didn’t matter. I wanted him to tackle everything life threw at him with such determination, and wanted to ensure no one would shake him or his confidence.
It was then, as I started to develop this concept of Wellness Retreats, that I knew I couldn’t promote the activities that I had not tried myself. I have learnt to dance, I’ve faced my fear of heights, I’ve made fascinators worthy of Ascot and jewellery you would happily part with your hard earned cash for.
I am facing my fears and limiting beliefs, I’m finding I am becoming more resilient. I worry less about what others think about me and what I think I should be achieving, and embrace the experience by enjoying the moment and being mindful in that moment.
Having learned at a very young age that life is short and that we only get one life... Let's live it, and live it to the fullest!
I want people to see the value of taking these experiences and putting themselves first for a change. By doing this we refuel the empty cups we are often living from, and then are able to continue in life firing on all cylinders.
If I have inspired just one person to step out of their comfort zone today then my work is done.
