Valentine's Day often brings to mind sweet romantic gestures - cards, flowers, and cherished moments spent with loved ones. But for busy mums, the reality can be quite different especially those who are single parents. Finding childcare for a date night and remembering to pick up a card for your partner if you have one can feel overwhelming, especially when it's just one more thing to squeeze into an already packed to-do list. And for those without partners valentines can often feel a lonely day.                                                     

While our relationships are precious and deserving of our time and attention, this Valentine’s Day, let’s also take a moment to appreciate the importance of self-care. It's easy to think of self-care as a once-a-year treat, but it’s truly a vital part of maintaining our well-being and happiness.                                                            

Prioritising time for yourself is not a luxury; it’s crucial for your overall health and happiness. By weaving self-care into your daily routine, you can create a sense of balance that nourishes both you and your relationships. It’s not about achieving perfection, but about making space for what truly matters in your life. You deserve that care and consideration, every single day.

As a busy mum, your daily schedule is likely packed with activities for your children, managing family life and balancing work commitments. It’s easy to forget that you also deserve affection and attention. Valentine’s Day presents a perfect opportunity to shift the focus inward and celebrate yourself. Self-care doesn't have to be elaborate; it can be as simple as carving out a quiet moment to enjoy a cup of tea or being able to sit an listen to your favourite podcast or play a short mindful relaxation video. Or maybe its taking that cuppa into the garden and appreciating the sights and sounds around you.

Since my late diagnosis for autism and ADHD whilst navigating the roller coaster of midlife hormones, carving out small pockets of me-time have helped with dysregulation, transitioning between tasks, improving focus and by bringing elements of mindfulness into my life I have been able to meet my own needs so I am  not pouring from an empty cup. We all know when we do it doesn’t end well and we end up in burnout or worse our health is negatively impacted. 

When you prioritise self-care, you replenish your energy and maintain your mental and physical health, which is crucial for your ability to care for others. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation can reduce stress levels, improve your mood, and enhance your overall outlook on life. Whether it’s reading a good book, moving to music, mindful colouring and crafts or getting outside in nature, these moments will help restore your sense of self and bring more purpose to the day-to-day.

I don’t always get it right, I am constantly seeking that work-life balance daily and some days I don’t get even close but short bursts of time to do some short mindful or somatic movements, meditate and take some deep breaths or even shake out any negative energy to a favourite tune can be enough to regulate me and I find I can tackle the next task with more motivation.

Showing your children the importance of self-care is also a valuable lesson. By practicing self-love and kindness towards yourself, you model these behaviours for them. Children learn by example, and when they see you valuing your well-being, they become more likely to do the same. Whether it’s encouraging them to pursue their passions or teaching them about the importance of mental health, your self-care rituals can be significant learning experiences for your kids. 

Consider planning a self-care activity this Valentine’s Day that aligns with your interests. Perhaps you’d like to have a spa night at home complete with face masks, soothing music, and a favourite film. Or set aside time for a some family colouring, a walk or a home disco.  Even a day dedicated to doing nothing and simply enjoying the peace can be a much-needed escape.                                                                                                           

Regardless of whether you have a partner or not, you don’t have to go out. You may find it easier to do something at home, look at ways to pamper yourself and involve a friend or loved one. I’ve done everything from paint and sip evenings, to making clay pots and candle making, through to Chinese banquets at home. 

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to centre around romantic love alone. Allow it to be a day where you recognize and celebrate your journey as a mother and individual. You may find that some self-care not only enhances your own life but creates a nurturing environment for your family to thrive. Embrace the day as an opportunity to show love to yourself—because you truly deserve it and true love lasts a lifetime.