For a long time, I felt like I was wandering through life in a fog, unable to pinpoint why everything seemed harder for me than for those around me. It wasn’t until I reached my 40's that I finally sought out a diagnosis for ADHD and Autism. Why did I wait so long? The answer is complicated, and it speaks to the complexities of growing up as a woman in a world that often overlooks neurodivergence, especially in females.
Throughout my life, I often felt like I was on the outside looking in. I struggled with organisation, focus, and social situations, all while being told I was just “overly sensitive” or “overthinking things or was a worrier.” The narratives I heard around ADHD and Autism seemed to paint a picture that didn’t quite fit my experience, leading me to believe that I simply didn’t belong in those conversations.
As I transitioned into adulthood, those feelings of not quite fitting in never faded. I could be the life of the party, but afterwards, I’d feel completely drained, overwhelmed by the noise, the lights, and the social expectations. I wore many masks to cope, trying to conform to what society expected of me, but inside, I often felt like I was falling short.
The real turning point came when I became a mother. Suddenly, I was not only navigating my own experiences but also trying to support my children as they developed their identities. I wanted to create an environment where they felt safe, accepted, and celebrated for who they are, quirks included. But as I observed their unique traits and struggles, it became impossible to ignore the reflections of my own journey.
The more I learned about neurodiversity, the more I recognised pieces of myself in what I read. I began to explore the idea that my challenges might be connected to ADHD and Autism, and this realisation opened up a whole new realm of understanding. Especially as in the years since childhood, women & girls were now beginning to be included in the studies and research, there was now more information than before, on how these things presented differently in females, and adults. Something that hadn’t really happened before.
Driven by curiosity and a desire for clarity, I made the decision to seek a formal diagnosis. I needed answers, not just for myself, but for my family and for the life I wanted to create. I sought the validation of a diagnosis, hoping it would provide the piece of the puzzle that I had been missing for years.
After I'd received my peri-menopause diagnosis, and my hormones became more balanced with treatment, it was easier to understand the parts that were left and what might have been down to things other than hormones.
I wanted to understand how my mind works, to explore the strengths and challenges that come with being neurodivergent, and to finally release the burden of self-blame that I had carried for so long. I craved the permission to embrace my unique qualities instead of hiding them away.
Receiving my diagnosis was transformative. I don’t see it as a label; it was a key to unlocking a deeper understanding of my life experiences. It helped me connect the dots between my past and present, allowing me to recognise the patterns that had shaped my journey. I learned that the impulsive decisions, the creative bursts, and the sensory sensitivities were all part of who I am… Beautifully complex and uniquely me.
With this new perspective, I felt empowered to unmask and embrace my true self. I began to prioritise self-care, to create routines that aligned with my needs, and to advocate for my family’s needs as well. I learned that it’s okay to be different and that my neurodivergence is not a flaw but a facet of my identity.
As I continue on this journey of self-discovery, I hope to inspire others who may feel like they don’t quite fit into societal norms. Seeking a late diagnosis of ADHD and Autism was not just about finding answers; it was about finding freedom. Freedom to be myself, to navigate the world in a way that feels authentic, and to cultivate a life that celebrates the vibrant tapestry of neurodiversity.
If you’re on a similar journey, remember that you’re not alone. There’s power in understanding ourselves, and together, we can create a community that honours our unique experiences, paving the way for a more inclusive and compassionate world. Through Unwind The Mind Wellness I aim to unify women like me, and I’d love for you to join our Facebook group to meet others just like you - Click Here.
Cass x