I starting thinking about what our family needs from the moment we decided to plan a holiday. Every option we considered, we tried to look at with our neurodivergence front and centre..
This year, we specifically need to consider two very burned out parents, and two very anxious little boys, so with this in mind our holiday this year was quite different to our usual escapades.We organised to stay in an Alpine Chalet for the first 4 nights self catering as a home from home model in a stunning peaceful riverside location, close by Lake Bohinj and a hotel with a thermal springs pool complex with water slides and more importantly a spa for mummy for the last few days.
We had flexibility to go where we want as we hired a car, which cut down on the sensory nightmare that can be coach trips/organised group excursions and did our own thing with a map, and with the area being quite remote we could tour around as we pleased, in our own time and space.
We had an early start so we pre-booked taxis directly to the terminal to avoid trying to faff with cases, kids, parking and terminal buses and queues.
I was pleasantly surprised with the support given at the airport.
It was subtle but we were always able to skip the queues at check in, at security and boarding the plane. Which meant we could then settle them on to the plane before the crowds came in and familiarise them with their surroundings before it was too overwhelming. Heathrow even has a sunflower sign on their check in desks to make it super easy to follow.
We packed the usual suspects: Tablets, puzzle & maze books, fidget toys, and copious amounts of their favourite snacks plus lots of water. Luckily, our boys special interest is planes and airports, so the flight was 'plane sailing as there was lots to spot out of the window. The kids swapped places half way through the flight so they both got a chance of sitting by the window! '! Although I will admit I spent an extraordinary amount of time ensuring they wouldn't kick the person seated in front into oblivion with those fidgety legs, so I perhaps didn't enjoy the flight as much as they did!
When we arrived at the chalet, the next morning one of the boys said to us "I don’t like it here, I want to go home" - My heart sunk. I asked "What makes you feel like this?". He answered that the people spoke a different language that he didn’t understand, the food was different, and he just wanted to be at home with things he was comfortable with. Plus he had left his favourite teddy at home!
So, we talked it through. We went to a supermarket to stock up on his firm beige favourite foods, we explained that although people spoke a different language most of the time, they also spoke some English and we had the ability to translate via our phones if we needed to.
Once we started making adventures he quickly forgot how much he was missing home comforts and we started to make some fun memories together.
I had already packed their favourite cereal, wraps and snacks so there was always something familiar for them both. Eating out and not knowing what food to expect if often a challenge.
Then we just immersed ourselves in nature and fun.
Here we’re just some of our highlights:
- Trips up Mount Vogel - The kids got to experience a cable car for the first time
- Walking hikes of impressive gorges with waterfalls, rapids & impressive views
- We experienced some wonderful kids walking routes with various activities for them to take part in and things to find along the way, including cows playing tuned with their cow bells!
- We got to row our own canoe (slightly more stressful when they wanted to control the oars the whole time, and I'm fearing they will drop them in the middle of the lake!)
- A gondola boat trip across Lake Bled, with stunning views from the top
- Toboggan run down a ski mountain, which the kids loved the thrill of - three times!
- They got to dig and throw stones, and attempted to skim stones across the lake
Then every day towards the end of our break in Bled we ensured the kids got a couple of hours at the water park to burn off steam, cool down and generally splash and have fun.
We thought the transition from one place to another would be tricky and certainly the packing and traveling from one to another caused all kids of tricky behaviour but we knew why and were somewhat prepared with entertainment snacks and visual ques. Luckily then the novelty of the next place excited them both.They embraced the buffet dinner at the hotel rather than us going to find a restaurant in town every night. So we followed what made them feel happy and relaxed. This way they could graze and choose the bits they wanted to eat and they knew what they were getting up front.
Holidays are all about balance for us. We may not have made the same choices about where to eat and where to go, but we made those choices based upon our neurodivergent boys and what would make the holiday easier for them to experience. We knew that in order for us to recover from burnout, to relax and enjoy the trip, we needed our boys to feel safe, reassured, prepared and regulated to allow us the breathing space to soak it all in. We all enjoyed our holiday, and it was just what we needed together. But the vast amount of planning we put in really was the key to it!
The planning was key for my Autistic/ADHD mind - we had the combination of spontaneity but roughly knew our aim and location each day even if we didn't entirely know maps and routes. So we got our dopamine fixes whilst also trying to navigate not knowing what came next.