A sense of new beginnings mixed with the quiet pressure to get your life in order. New timetables. New uniforms. New routines or just that last quarter of busy-ness before The C word!
 
All while trying to keep your own head above water.

As a neurodivergent woman in midlife, I’ve come to realise that the mental load of the new school year isn’t just about logistics. It’s emotional. Invisible. And often completely overwhelming.

You know the kind of thing. You’re the one remembering the PE kit, the non-uniform day, the permission slips, the packed lunch, the snack for after school club, and what time the dentist appointment is. You’re managing your children’s emotions, the masking, the meltdowns, unpicking behaviour with occurrences in their school day,  your own sensory overwhelm, the ever-growing washing pile and endless to do’s and the voice in your head whispering that you should probably be doing more.

And if you’re anything like me, you’re also trying to manage your own brain’s needs at the same time.

For years, I blamed myself for not being able to “keep up”. I thought I was just, lazy, forgetful, or not trying hard enough, often unable to finish a single task. Now I know it’s my ADHD and Autism that make juggling all these moving parts feel like spinning plates while walking through treacle.

Our brains aren’t built for constant multi-tasking. They’re built for depth, not speed. For creativity, not chaos. When the world around us expects relentless productivity and picture-perfect organisation, it’s no wonder we end up frazzled and exhausted. Please don’t get sucked in by the picture perfect accounts on social media and that need to consistently be trying to conform and keep up. 

So here’s what I’m gently reminding myself this September, and maybe you need to hear it too: it’s OK to pause.

You are allowed to take breaks. To step outside for five minutes and breathe. To sit in the quiet for a moment instead of rushing to tick off the next thing on your list. You are allowed to let some things go.

I used to think rest was something you earned after everything else was done. Now I know that rest is what allows me to keep going at all.

The mental load isn’t visible, but it’s heavy. Especially for women like us who are juggling midlife shifts, hormonal changes, sensory sensitivity, executive function challenges and the deep emotional labour of caring for everyone else.

If you feel like you’re constantly one step behind, it’s not because you’re doing life wrong. It’s because you’re carrying a lot. And just because you’re carrying it silently doesn’t mean it’s not real.

On the days when things feel just about manageable, here are a few gentle things I do that make the load a little lighter:

• Writing everything down (even the obvious things) so my brain doesn’t have to hold it all just keep writing till your brain feels empty. It doesn’t need to be formatted or make sense just empty your mind. 
• Saying no to things that don’t feel essential
  
• Creating little “reset” pockets in the day – a walk, a cuppa, a moment to ground myself, a shake or dance or sing to a tune, a mindful 3 mins meditation or hum can be enough to re regulate
  
• Letting go of the idea that I have to do it all perfectly
  
• Asking for help, even when it feels uncomfortable, remember how valuable the buddy system can be to get us to overcome challenging tasks
  
• Reminding myself that I deserve rest, too
  
  

If your brain feels full and your body is tired, please know you’re not alone. So many of us are quietly carrying more than we ever let on.

It’s not about pushing harder. It’s about softening into what you need. And sometimes, that starts with giving yourself full permission to pause. You mind and body will thank you for it. 

Sending love,